Tuesday, October 09, 2007


It just doesn't seem right! It's bad enough that I'm now a full head shorter than my little preacher boy but now he is less than a week away from being a real honest to goodness {gasp, sputter, sigh} *TEENAGER*! They just grow way too fast to suit me, it seems like yesterday he was born and seemed so small and helpless, now on my weaker days he holds me up with strong arms while we do the chores together. It seems like just yesterday that I couldn't get him to eat hardly anything and worried that he would be skinny and sickly from poor nutrition, but now I can't fill him up and he eats constantly, and he is strong and healthy too. It seems like just yesterday that he just couldn't quite get the hang of reading and now I can't keep him from reading everything he can get his hands on. It seems like just yesterday that he was 3 years old and still had not said one single word and I was terrified that he would not be able to speak for some reason. It seems like just yesterday that I was a freshly saved 24 year old girl expecting baby number 3 and begging the Saviour I had only begun to trust to please save this child that was growing inside me and use him for HIS glory.

I get overwhelmed when I think of the blessings my children are to me. They don't get into trouble or give me any grief about their schooling and most importantly they all have a heart for the Lord. Just last night they all sat with me and their Daddy in the livingroom as a brother in the Lord was telling us how he desires to see his own children begin to really grow in the Lord and to seek Him out on their own.... what a blessing when my little preacher boy started testifying about how the Lord became real in his own life and how that is what drove him to begin seeking the Lord for himself and stop trying to live off of the faith of the people around him. It's a true blessing that I just can never find the words for that I am able to hear my son give glory to God in little ways and big ways on a day to day basis!

I'm even beginning to appreciate the fact that the preacher boy was called to preach. Believe me, I know how awful it sounds but I did not want any of my boys to be preachers and did all that I could to discourage any such thoughts. It's not that I have anything against preachers or that I think poorly of the good men who are called of God to preach his word in any way...... it's just that all these years I've raised these sons *I've* had my own set of plans for them and how they should grow up and live life. Petty of me huh. I had always encouraged the boys to pursue things that interested them and learn as much as possible about those things so that later on their lives they would be fit to make a decent living for their families doing something that they loved.

Jared had always said that he wanted to go to a good college and study fire science and criminal justice and become a police officer and work in the fire service too and gradually work his way up to arson investigation. I was so proud of him for having such a good plan and for knowing what it would take to fulfill that set of goals and I did all I could to encourage him to continue to pursue that course ..... all the way up until the night he came stumbling down the hallway with tears running down his little cheeks and told us that the Lord had been speaking to him and that he had been ignoring what was being said but that he just couldn't do that anymore because he had to preach and try to reach folks for Jesus. Me being the hardheaded idiot that I was at the time told him to stop crying and go back to bed that I didn't want to hear such nonsense and how in the world did he think he could preach when he was too shy to even say the pledge of alliegence in front of the people in our family back home. Bless his heart, all he would say is "I love you momma but the Lord told me to preach".... he told his Daddy and they talked to our Pastor and that was the end of that. But now here we are two years later and I couldn't appreciate my son any more than I do now and I have been so blessed to see the Lord use him and to watch him grow in the Lord and to begin to mature a bit in his preaching. There are lots of things in my life that I regret but not many of them more than the way I reacted when the Lord called Jared to preach.

I wonder now and then what the Lord has planned for my boy. I confess that I used to worry about it.... you know what his life will be like in a world that hates preachers who stick by the old ways and follow the true word of God and who do their best to live out what they believe. I'm so glad that our Lord is faithful to take care of his own and that when those times come on me and I wonder or worry that in some way whether it's something small or something big the Lord will show me that he will take care of the boy who is really only mine for a little while but is HIS for eternity. What an awesome and fearsome thought, that me and my hunk o' honey are in charge of raising this young man up but that he truly belongs to the Lord and not us at all! The years have flown by and I know that I probably haven't got many left to have this boy with me all the time. That's just enough all by itself to make this old tired mama's heart break a little bit every day but the blessing of who this boy is becoming more than makes up for the pain of watching him grow a step farther from me everyday!

There ya go Mrs. Willie, all the stuff I can't say without crying about our boy that we prayed over so many times in your livingroom floor on that old prayer rug! God is faithful, and He heard every word we said! HE grew our boy up strong and tall and sweet natured just like you would always ask, and HE grew him up filled with love and joy and a desire to serve HIM just like we asked! Ain't God Good!!!! Let's keep on praying and seeking God for all our young ones.

And that's enough babbling for me today..... I've got a birthday meal to plan.

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