I just can't believe it!!! My sweet baby girl is a (gasp, sputter, gasp some more) TEENAGER! Sometimes you just want to shout "when did this happen? and where did the time go?" but we all know that they really do grow up whether we want them to or not....and boy does it happen FAST! It seems like yesterday instead of 13 years ago that I was laboring away at the hospital filled with thoughts of wonder at what the baby would look like, would it be a boy or a girl and what would those first few moments be like ....you know, the typical racing thoughts that get stuffed in between contractions in the last moments of mother-to-be hood. All of those questions are answered now and so many more....she is definitely a SHE, she is absolutely beautiful...sometimes so much so that it takes my breath away and makes me cry, and those first few moments just like the past 13 years have been more wonderful than any mother anywhere on the planet deserves for them to be.
It is amazing how much thought we give to decorating a nursery and preparing for a baby during those months of pregnancy and how few of us prepared for anything other than the babyhood of our children. From the minute mine began to walk I was filled with fear and doubt about my abilities to be the mother that I should be....not for lack of desire to be a good mother but for lack of having been taught what a good mother is. There are so few examples of how to parent properly and so much controversy over the different techniques and methods of parenting that it is soooo easy to get lost in the swarm of well intentioned advice and go the wrong way. I know how easy it is because I am one of the ones who is now having to walk that long uphill climb to the way things should be done....God's way. I am so thankful for His mercy and His grace in my life!! I know that the Lord has made getting back on the road to doing things right so much easier for me than what I deserve and I'm so thankful that my children do have a heart for the Lord and it shows in their responses to mine and Troy's efforts to raise them properly. I have such a long way to go and so little time left to get there that at times it is totally overwhelming and scary...but then I just have to take a deep breath and stand still and remind myself that God is in control!