Tuesday, February 02, 2010

What's going on?

Too much, as usual. The weather is dreary and cold to boot, which always makes me feel so much less motivated to get everything taken care of....I would much rather be curled up somewhere warm with a good book and hot cup of tea. I'm having sort of a "growly" feeling day... most likely the result of too much stress, bad weather, not enough sleep, and did I say too much stress?

A few weeks ago we found out that my mother has cancer. On a nearly daily basis we've gotten more and more information about her condition as new tests were done and results would come in. She is now in the hospital to undergo even more tests, begin chemo, and hopefully find some way to help the kidney that has failed and the other that is beginning to. I hate it that she is going through this...and that I am so.far.away. Top it off with the fact that neither one of my brothers will speak to me (for reasons unknown to me)so I get to sit here.so.far.away. and wonder what is going on and how Mom is doing with all the tortures treatments and tests until she feels well enough to call me or ask one of her siblings to.

I wish I could be there for her. I wish I could help. I wish she wasn't so alone. I wish I could make cancer go away. I wish I could fix things so that she wasn't suffering in some cold, impersonal, hospital that is so.far.away. I wish I could be 10 years old again and beat some sense into my brothers (who never bothered to tell me they were mad at me or why)!

I'll be trying to take a trip back home as soon as I can make the arrangements (and find the money) but until then all I can do is pray, and pray some more, and pray again, and go back to my room to pray again just in case I forgot something important. Then come in here, blow my nose, take care of the kids, cook for Troy, pet the dogs, check the email...go back down the hall and pray.

We have had a little bit of good news too though. {snicker}Well, maybe not so little after all. Troy and I have our first GRANDSON! He was born January 20 at 6pm. The "little" feller weighed 12lbs 12 oz, and was 24 and 1/2 inches long. He has a head FULL of blonde hair so long it gets in his eyes, which are a gorgeous blue by the way. Believe it or not, he was even born a little over 4 weeks early! The doctors decided it was best to take him a little early by c-section because he was so big. Thank the Lord, he's healthy and strong and a wonderful addition to the family. Those of y'all that have seen my boys and remember when I had Josh will know that our family just tends to have BIG BOYS.

We are keeping busy around the house trying to get ready for spring. It's hard to plan things like the gardens and such right now with so much going on back home and us not knowing when we'll be taking a trip. We did get a start on the strawberry gardens though before the snow/sleet/ice came our way. Hopefully we'll get that finished and get the transplanting done and some more fence work done and at least a portion of the planting begun in time for a decent crop of everything we plant to come in when we need it. After a couple of really bad garden years we are needing to grow EVERYTHING.

Well, I'm off to try and get chores done and run to get feed for the critters. I'll try to update soon.