On the run

I have to make this a super quick post because the kids and I are on our way out the door. We are going to visit a beekeeper friend to make hive parts for our splits. Hopefully this will not only save us some money but my boys and Fred will learn how to make most of the components of the hives. It looks like the weather here will be great for making splits most of the rest of this week so we are definitely trying to hurry.

We also have 3 new additions to the family. For Caleb's birthday Saturday each of the kids got a goat kid. They are adorable cute, I'll try to post pictures soon. They are a nubian boer cross which should give us a good milk supply after they are grown and the kids that they have will be good for meat as well. My kids have spent days now dreaming of all the milk based goodies that they hope to have when we are no longer paying such a high price for milk.

Troy formally accepted the job offer yesterday. The pay is still a bit less than what he is making right now but the benefits are really good. After 3 years with no health insurance or sick days or paid holidays or vacation time or any other benefit of any kind he's excited to say the least. He is dreading leaving the job he has now though, he really enjoys the work he's doing and has met some people there that he really likes.... my poor hunk o' Honey, it's so sweet of him to give up that job to do better for us!

Well, I still have to load the truck and help the kids (human) finish the morning chores. Have a wonderful day.

Half a dozen times now

I have set down at my desk at least that many times now to try and get this blog updated. Being so far behind on everything has caused me to have the problem lately of not being able to stay in one spot long enough to finish much of anything, or to focus well on whatever it is that I'm trying to work on.

Actually other than being swamped with spring things are going well. I've finally adjusted about as well as I think I will ever be to the medication that is supposed to help with my heart and the fainting spells and the headaches and the dizziness. I still thoroughly resent needing it but I don't suppose there is a medication for that ;-P

Troy will most likely be starting a new job soon Lord willing. He is in the bargaining process with the human resources department trying to get the pay rate up to as close as possible to what he is currently making to ease the transition time that just goes with starting a new job. If he takes it we will finally have health insurance and some other benefits that we've been without for a really long time now.

The kids and I have been trying to get our garden and yard done so we can get busy planting bee food. I have a teensy tiny little baby strawberry out there that I am coddling for all I'm worth! I planted over 100 strawberry plants last year......BUT between the late freeze that we had, then the drought, then the wild bunnies who feasted all summer long in my garden and the hungry deer and chickens in the fall and winter months I have maybe a dozen strawberry plants left. In a last ditch effort to save them I dug them all up and transplanted them into Fred's handy-dandy-homemade-from-recycled-tire planters that I haven't had time to paint yet so they kind of make my yard look very very redneck/hillbilly/trashy.

Troy and the boys and Fred have to get busy and start building the bee boxes and bottom boards and inner/outer covers because if we don't make splits soon I'm afraid our bees will swarm and then we will have lost the extra hives and all that they would produce. Why not just buy them you ask?? Well, because they cost nearly $100 each and we just don't have the extra to spend. The kids love their bees though and I love the honey they make and the increase in the garden produce and the better berry and grape crops so our little Fred's hobby turned family business not making profit yet stays for now. It really is too bad that we didn't get a jump start on the bees this year because if we had a surplus of them to sell the kids would be making some very very good profits!

That's all the time I have to sit here, I have to run off again. I hope everyone is doing well. As you can see we still have plenty to keep us busy and God has blessed us. Hopefully soon I'll be able to post some pictures so my sweet friends back home will stop harassing me about it!

It's spring!

Finally.... sometimes to me it just seems like the warm weather and pretty days and trees budding and blooming takes forever to get going and I'm trapped in that blah, gray, off world where absolutely everything seems to be at least a half step off from where it should be. I really struggled with whether to post or not and what to post because I've been in such an "off" place within myself lately and I don't like to talk about it..... but I've gotten too many phone calls from friends and family full of questions so I'll go ahead and talk about it.....and talk about other more cheery things too.

Yes, I'm back on the heart medication (Aunt Janice), and so far no it doesn't seem to be helping me but it can take months to find the right dosage and/or medication. I'm trying very very hard to be patient and keep a decent outlook on it all but y'all that know me best know that patience is one of those things I really struggle with, especially when it comes to being patient with myself. I have missed alot of church services lately because of the headaches and the dizziness and the fainting spells and the chest pain and I could very easily get very depressed about all of it. To be honest I have been on the cusp of falling into that but God has been so good to me that I don't dare let myself do it! Yes Aunt Mary, I'm gaining weight from the medication but I promise not to stop taking it just because of that. And yes Miss Willie Troy has been there to catch me and so have the kids but I'm frustrated with having to lean on them so much lately and no, I'm not willing to consider a pace maker or any other invasive sort of treatments at this point. Please lets all remember that for nearly 3 years I was doing good without medications and special restrictions and that I don't think it's impossible for me to get back to that point. While having to take the medications and go through all the doctor's visit stuff again really doesn't excite me at all I'm thankful that at least now we know what to expect (sort of) and we know how to handle a lot of the symptoms. I could talk more but I'm taking the gump pledge "that's all I have to say about that".

Spring is here and I'm getting excited about all that I want to do this year outside.... overwhelmed already with how far behind I am but excited all the same. We are working on the strawberry beds and herb beds outside now. Fred has been cutting and turning tires faster than any of us would be able to ..... she has her own funny method of doing it that looks kind of like a yorkshire terrier wrestling to turn a shoe inside out. We are watching all of the mistinted paint at the stores for terra cotta colors and reds and greens too, Fred has her own ideas for decorating our tire "pots". She is hoping to have enough extra to sell a few of them too. We have our two large potato beds planted, and the garlic looks good so far and we put in some onions and peas yesterday... yes I know I am late but I've been kind of busy falling down and had to give myself permission to be a little late this year.

We checked on the bees yesterday for the first time this year too.... well, the kids did. Fred's hive is just a bit on the weak side but her bees look really good and still have purple honey stored from last year! Caleb's hive is going to have to be split very very soon or we'll have a swarm to deal with. Jared's hive is doing great too. Our two big red maple trees and in bloom and I love to go sit down under the tree and watch the bees work the blooms. It smells like syrup and the bees sing along with whatever tune I hum..... it's one of my favorite places to be right now. We are hoping to avoid the late freezes that kill off the blooms and get out of this drought this year so we have a good honey harvest.

Fred and I are trying to get our soaps and lotions and balms and such stocked up for sale again. We have so many new recipes to make up and share with everyone and the excitement just keeps on building as we learn more about our craft. Right now we are struggling with how to keep our prices to a level we feel comfortable with. Our supplies have gone up in cost as has everything else and we don't want to charge excessively for our products. Fred is so excited that we finally learned how to make creamy lotions instead of just the lotion bars..... me too since that is my personal favorite. Hopefully soon I'll get a camera and be able to share some pictures.

I just realized that I smell burning banana bread..... I guess I am done blogging for right now. Y'all have a good week and I hope to post again soon.

Thinking about spring

I can't wait for the weather to be at that just right temperature to get out in the garden and plant things and watch them grow! It's that time of year now when I start going a little bit crazy because I just don't have enough garden space for all the stuff I want to grow. I hope the drought eases off now so I can have a better garden this year.

I'm also thinking bees! We are looking forward to splitting hives so that we'll have 6 instead of 3, and we're hoping to catch a few swarms this year too. The purple honey was so awesome that we hope we get alot more of that this year. The big red maple trees are blooming now so there is plenty of food for the bees and we don't have to worry much about them starving.... unless the weather turns off really bad cold again.

I really have a lot to do to get ready for all of this gardening and beekeeping work..... why am I still sitting here?? I have to clean out the freezers to make room for the produce and for freezing drone comb and jars of honey. I have to go clean out the hoop house and build the shelves to start my seedlings...that should have been done months ago. I really really have to get the barns cleaned out so we can move the rabbits and make room for goats. I wonder if there is any way to harvest kudzu for animal feed and if it is nutritionally sound to feed animals primarily on what grows wild in the area??

I have too much to do to sit here daydreaming about spring..... but it's fun while it lasts.

I'm still here

Just saying hello and feeling kind of rambly today. Any sudden weather change seems to set off a migraine for me so I'm sort of foggy in the head today and feeling very "unplugged" and short on steam. The flu bug that bit Jared also went through Caleb and left me exhausted from dealing with both boys running high fevers but it is over now and the boys are back to their bouncy selves.

On the job front..... Troy went and did the interview and all of the testing that the company requires and they are now in the background check (a very very thorough one!!)He also was asked to send in lots of very detailed paperwork and copies of his diplomas and transcripts from high school and college so all of that is done now too. I do know that if Troy goes to work for this company he will not be working day shift during the weekdays only like he does now. It will either be 4 ten hour evening shifts during the week or Friday, Saturday, and Sunday day shift and I'm not fond of either one of those scenarios! I guess life is always a trade of some sort though and I don't dare even think of complaining about a thing that isn't a fact in our lives (yet).

I'm sitting here thinking while I type this about how much I have to get done today. I spent all day yesterday tearing half of my house apart and moving things around and cleaning. Am I the only person who can live somewhere for just two years and feel like the stuff I own is taking over? By noon yesterday I was ready to move everything we have out into the yard and only allow each family member to bring 1/3 of their belongings back in the house. As for the other two thirds..... doesn't a nice bonfire sound great?! Seriously, we have accumulated more stuff than we know what to do with. A couple of the folks in our little family (who shall remain nameless today) are serious packrats! They simply refuse to ever throw anything away, and when someone else throws something away they take it upon themselves to "rescue" that item from the dump before it gets there!

Please don't get me wrong, I'm 100% for frugal living and doing all I can to stretch every dollar we have as far as it will go. I just fail to see how saving every single button and every single piece of string or having 14 rubber tipped dojamawhoies saves anybody anything! In fact in my efforts to sort and store and organize and clean all of those buttons and strings and zippers and dojamawhoies I am very likely to have a nervous breakdown which will only run up our medical expenses so how in the world is it helpful??

All joking aside though, I really do detest hoarding and I guess that's what all of this accumulation of STUFF is to me. To me having to collect endless amounts of this and that screams out to me that those persons doing the collecting have a serious problem with their faith, they just don't trust that the Lord will provide them with all the dojamawhoies they need WHEN they need them and rather than build their faith they busy themselves with dojamawhoie collecting. Not to mention the maddening processes of dojamawhoie sorting, organizing and storing!!

Well, enough from me today! I have to go get busy putting away all the dojamawhoies that are left out from yesterdays cleaning binge! Have a wonderful weekend all!

Remember when...

I was talking about how unusually quiet things seemed around here and how that usually heralds a bunch of sudden changes in our lives?? Wellllll, I am buckling up and holding on and praying hard!

My sweet Hunk O Honey just got a new job a few weeks ago and it was truly an answer to long months of prayer for him. Yesterday he called from work to tell me that he was finally on the overtime schedule (another answered prayer) and would be home a little late. I hung up the phone and went back to tending my sick young 'un (the preacher boy is sick, going to the dr. today!) when the phone rang again. It was the human resources officer for another company that the Hunk O Honey had applied with during his job search offering him the opportunity to test for a position within their company. I took down the fella's information and kind of chuckled to myself thinking that the job search was over with and settled.

When my Honey got home and I told him about the phone call his eyebrows went up and he grabbed the phone!! I (in an effort to be helpful and not bossy or pushy or nosey) quietly went about getting his supper ready so he could eat and run to church as soon as the phone call was over with.... I mean, it really only takes a minute to tell someone that you have a job now and thanks for calling but your too late bye, right? 15 minutes later I still hear him talking on the phone so I go to see if someone may have beeped in on the line and hear him making an appointment to take the welding test! So needless to say when he finally got off the phone I was curious as all get out to find out what's going on.

The reader's digest version goes kind of like this: The new job is great, he loves it, they love him and things are going extremely well. The benefits aren't wonderful but few companies offer wonderful benefits these days at all but he loves the job and it makes him happy and he even likes the guys he works with and has come home every day humming a happy tune. BUT....... he found out yesterday that the company is considering a move to Texas!!!!! He was mulling over in his mind and prayers what to do should he be given the option to move with the company IF it makes the change but since he only found out yesterday at lunch was still in the 'thinking it over' stage. The company who called him yesterday is a HUGE company with plants all over the world and a benefits package that takes nearly 3 pages of print to describe! So here we are feeling very back to square one and very very very ready for the Lord to make clear HIS perfect will for this family in this situation.

It gets a little bit complicated for us because we truly love where we are right now. We love our church family and the life that we've built for ourselves here. We have no doubts at all that this is where the Lord has put us for a reason...... but neither one of us has ever had peace that this was a "for good" home for us either. That was the only reason we hadn't gone looking for a home to buy here and we haven't invested ourselves in anything here other than our church. It appears that the company Troy is working for right now will most likely eventually be moving.... and who can blame them, the taxes here are ridiculous, the highway system is bizarre and complicated, and the land prices are even more over the top than the taxes. But the other company that wants Troy to test for them has just as much potential of eventually shipping us to somewhere else though it would probably be later rather than sooner and the benefits are better in the long term. {sigh} lots more prayers to be said I suppose.

Also on our prayer list is the preacher boy. Jared started running a fever yesterday of 102 and 103 all day long, along with a bone racking cough and lots and lots and lots of brightly colored snot. He was very upset that he had to miss church last night so he and I stayed home and studied together and prayed together but it's just not the same. He's going to the doctor this afternoon. It's most likely bronchitis and if it was me or Troy we would probably try to ride it out with natural things we always do but Jared never... and I mean never gets seriously sick. This will be the first time he has seen a doctor (except for one head injury from falling down with a tree) since he was 5 years old. His lungs sound horrible or I would be more likely to just keep tending to him at home, but my policy is anything that moves so fast and raises a temp that won't come down for more than two hours goes to the doctor.

We're also keeping my brothers in prayer. There have been some situations come up with the truck driving business that have caused alot of major changes for them. Being self employed can sometimes be a real challenge when you have a family counting on you to provide so we are praying that the Lord will just work it all out to the good of both of them and that the needs of the families will be met completely.

Also on our hearts lately are several other long term situations with our extended families that have been left sort of unresolved. I won't go into details here but I will ask that if you think of us please pray that we would both be extra sensitive to the leading of the Lord in our family matters. Some of these situations have been very serious and have caused tremendous amounts of pain for many people in the past. There are lots of wounds here that all run deep and we don't want to say or do anything that could make matters worse or hurt anyone any further. Troy and I just can't help but feel that there are reasons that the Lord has continued to lay certain people on our hearts and has given us such burdens for them.... so we want to be absolutely sure that we do the right thing in the eyes of the Lord.

And, again this year we are seeking God's will about our vehicle situation. We have been blessed with the ever faithful Jeep that brought us out here nearly 3 years ago with almost 300,000 miles on it. It still runs and only needs about $200 worth of repairs to hopefully stay on the road for at least another year. It's Troy's work truck and is getting a little extra worn but is still reliable and good daily transportation for him.

We do need to do something much more drastic for a good family vehicle though. A couple of years ago we were given a Suburban that needed some work and it's truly been a blessing to us. We never did get the work done that it needed though because it's pretty intense stuff that just requires more time than what we have available, and now it needs not only that (heater core) but most likely a transmission rebuild and some serious engine work as well. We are simply asking the Lord to help us discern His will about what we should do, if we should really invest the huge sum of money it would take to fix the Suburban or if we should just try to find the best deal we can with what little we can afford to spend and that He would guide us in that decision.

The whole car situation makes us both a little bit sad. This time last year the Lord had impressed it on both of our hearts to do a very specific thing about our vehicle situation but it was something that scared us both to pieces and instead of just walking in faith and being obedient to what the Lord had so clearly told us to do we dragged our feet and ended up missing out altogether. So every time we went somewhere this past winter with no heat it brought to mind just what our disobedience cost. Hopefully we both learned our lessons and will listen carefully to the guidance from the Lord and act immediately on what we are told instead of doubting and procrastinating!

Speaking of procrastinating..... I have a long list of projects that need to be started today so I can meet my goals of getting this house in order and getting things caught up. I hope everyone has a wonderful day!!!

It's about time!

Finally, I am almost done with all the dental errands with the kids. Fred had her last filling done yesterday afternoon and swears to me that she is going to be super diligent in caring for her teeth from now on..... the boys I'm sure will still need to be threatened heartily reminded daily. With a very brief respite from all the running to and fro in order to provide the kids with healthy teeth the next thing on the list is to get them all to the orthodontist. I'm already cringing at the thought of paying for it but Caleb especially needs to be seen. Fred and Jared's glasses will be finished in a couple more weeks and then they will both be able to see clearly and can no longer use eye strain as an excuse to put away their school work early.

In between all of the errands I'm still trying to get my house cleared of clutter and in some sort of organized state before mid March gets here. I know that if it isn't done by then and the kids aren't completely caught up with their schoolwork by then I will be in total meltdown mode by the end of March. March is the month when we get extra busy with the bees and the garden and the missions conference at church and extra meetings in other churches and Resurrection Sunday also comes in March this year. I still have a long long way to go to be anywhere near finished with that so please if you have a minute pray for me that I will get caught up with all of it so that I can go into our Missions Conference at church this year with an uncluttered mind and heart and be able to fully focus on what the Lord would have me to do for missions this year!

Troy started his new job a few weeks back. He loves it!!!! I could not be happier for him either, his old job was just making him sick with worry all the time. This place seems to be a much better fit for him and he's excited with the new work and the company. I talk with my friend Willie often about how sad it is that companies don't hire employees for the long term anymore. It used to be that a good loyal employee was considered a long term investment by most companies and they were treated as such, but that is the polar opposite of the situation today it seems and it gets harder and harder to find a decent job all the time.

Fred is on track to finish her first year of high school this May. I'm so proud of how hard she studies and her eagerness to learn, but it's sad sort of to see my last baby girl grow up. She has such an intense interest in so many things and is always ready to study any subject into exhaustion.... I hope she never loses that love of learning new things.

Jared is growing like a weed and sometimes I it seems as if he is just shooting up more by the minute! That boy is so sweet sometimes .... it's almost like seeing a sweet, cute little 3 year old in a body the size of a full grown man. A lot of the time he is really annoying (without meaning to be of course, he is after all a 13 year old boy)... but there are the times when his sweet streak takes over. Our family has the first two seasons of the old tv show "The Waltons" on DVD and we all enjoy them. We also babysit for some friends on Friday evenings and their kids have also enjoyed watching that show with us. Well, Jared had saved up enough money to buy the next season for us and he did that yesterday as a gift to the family. I know that there are lots of things he would have loved to have bought himself but he chose to spend the money on something that we would all enjoy together and with a huge grin on his face said he couldn't wait to watch them with our friend's kids.

Now before everyone gets the wrong impression of our family's relationship with the tv let me say this. Friday nights are our family's night to unwind and relax. We keep a crazy hectic pace 6 days a week with barely even taking time to just stop and gather our thoughts. I'm not complaining, it's pretty much always been this way for us and we're used to it. So when the kids were really small me and their daddy started "junk night".... on Friday evenings when nothing else pressing is going on we all just sit around and stuff ourselves with goodies and watch something as wholesome as we can find together on the tv and visit and chat and catch up with each other and sometimes play games. When the kids were really tiny we watched cartoons or something like the Waltons or Little House on the Prairie. As they got older they got to choose some of the shows and for a seemingly long while the boys always chose westerns or something totally goofy and me and Fred always wanted to watch action movies. Now we have just kind of relaxed back into something that is sweet and simple and we like it that way. It is a once a week indulgence into laziness and peacefulness and unless there is a church activity that we need to be at or we have a job scheduled that has a very pressing deadline we try to let nothing interrupt our Friday evenings.

My youngest child is getting tall now too. Caleb is nearing my height and has that strange fuzzy spot on each corner of his mouth that tells me he is getting too close to grown up to suit me. He looks more like his daddy every day, but still has his own personality that is part fire, part sweet breeze and part spring rain... there just is no other way to describe him than that to me. He's growing up.... it's bittersweet like the rest of raising kids I guess.

Well, now that you are so very completely caught up little blog of mine. I must go declutter the bathroom today!!

Surely Not!

This cannot be the 5th of February yet!!! it just can't, I haven't even had time to finish January! Between running back and forth to the dentist with my kids (3 appointments a week for the last two and a half weeks!!) and trying to get things in order at home and getting ready for this year's bee season and gardening stuff all on top of fixing this ancient computer in my *spare* time I've just been tail chasin' busy.

In trying to find the bright side of being so frazzled and out of sorts... the kids will soon be finished getting all of their dental care up to date, and in a few weeks Fred and Jared will both have their glasses too! I'll never understand why on this earth the dentist's office couldn't find any way at all to schedule the appointments in such a way that all of them could have been on the same day at least. The extra gas going in the suburban for all the trips to the dentist ate over half of our grocery budget for the last two weeks, and we still have next week to go!

Sorry to have been so behind on blogging but this is just a hectic time for me. The kids have been busy too. Aside from going to the dentist so often that the receptionist now knows us all by first name and what school subject each child likes the least (they do schoolwork in the waiting room) the kids have also been busy getting ready for making splits with the bees (increasing the hives), planning this years garden, and they butchered chickens for the first time. Fred is working on getting more bunny babies soon now that it's a bit warmer and the critter space is a bit less crowded. The kids are also still working on business plans. They have to get busy and form an LLC this year and get a tax number for the business too, plus insurance and all the other technical things that go along with owning a business.

Now that everyone is bored to tears.... at least you can't say I haven't blogged. I'll try to be in a better bloggy mood soon!

A little overwhelmed but ......

Those were some of the first words from my mouth this morning to a friend of mine back home who had called just to say hi and see how I was doing. Am I the only person who ever gets behind in house chores and errands and kid's dental appointments and that kind of stuff and then just feels overwhelmed by the energy required to get caught back up? It seems as though I have been constantly moving for the longest time now!

After being sick for a bit and trying to get my heart to beat correctly again there were so many things left waiting for me to do, and don't you know that every one of those piles of stuff and lists of errands and rescheduled appointments mocked my every breath that they were still there waiting for me. I've spent every day this week running from one place to the next at break neck speed all while trying to appear cheerfully together and organized.... for those of you who know me well hahahahahahaha.

Despite feeling run over with lists and chores and the endless multi-tasking we moms must endure all day every day things are going good. I can be thankful that finally I am able to get the kids to see a dentist, and that finally we can get Fred her glasses and stop watching her squinch up her cute little face while she reads. I can be thankful that our poor old falling apart suburban is holding up to all of those errands and toting the boys back and forth to their jobs to boot. I can be thankful that we made it through the coldest days of the year without having to buy any heating oil (at over $3 a gallon), and that our home has stayed comfortably warm all winter so far. I am thankful that Troy has stayed healthy enough to work despite the onslaught of nasty viruses all around us and that even though there were many days that the company closed shop without pay the last three months our bills have been paid and there has definitely been no food shortages. And I am so very very very thankful that my peace in knowing my needs are met is not dependent on our stock market or a 401K or any other such gamble but on the God of the universe who owns all I'll ever need and distributes such needful things to me in abundance!!!!!!!!

So even though at times the circumstances of my life may seem overwhelming I'm still on shouting ground anyway! I even caught myself in the dentist's waiting room telling the other moms in there how good the Lord has been to my family and that no matter what we were going through that very minute we just had to say God is Good anyway, all while my little preacher boy sat there grinning his head off with the blood tinged gauze from his extraction peeking out the corner of his mouth.

It's been an adventurous week for us all. Fred had wanted to get her hair done (for the first time ever) for her birthday gift so a sweet friend went along with us for a girly day of hair and beauty and then lunch. Fred's new hair cut looks fabulous with lots of layers and when she curls it she looks even more stunning that she does normally. We found a picture in the style books at the beauty place that we loved and so I got mine cut the very same way but I part mine different and being older now my hair is not nearly as thick as Fred's. We both love our new hair styles though and it's extra good that we were able to keep our long long hair and still get a style we are happy with.

While we were waiting for our turn at the beauty place our good friend was getting her hair cut (into an adorable style btw). Fred and I were talking to the lady who does the make-up stuff there (since Fred wanted to learn about that too)and in conversation that lady asked me if my friend was my other daughter!! I know that I look a little older than I actually am but I had no idea how bad I must have looked to have been mistaken for my less-than-a-decade younger friend's mother! At first the comment didn't bother me at all and I laughed about it. But as the day wore on and I got used to my new look it occurred to me that not looking at least well groomed and well ....er, um, ah.... 'maintained' could possibly harm my testimony, not to mention cause my poor sweet Hunk O Honey to wonder why in the world I just didn't try to make myself 'purty for him if nothing else. By that evening I was suffering true heartache in knowing that my husband truly did desire for me to continue to look as attractive as I can yet over the years I had allowed myself to fall into such disarray that I could be mistaken for my not-really-that-much-younger-than-me friend's mother. My poor Hunk O Honey!!!

Now, don't you go and take me wrong. I am NOT a big "it's all about appearances" kind of girl and anyone who knows me knows that. I do believe though that we should look as though we care enough to take care of ourselves. I had gotten into a terrible habit of running about with my hair in a pony tail and just swiping a wash cloth across my face in the morning regardless of what I was doing or where I was going, and I won't go into details about how I have been dressing until now other than to say SHABBY but not chic in any way shape or form. I'm sure that most people did not look at me and think anything good at all though. So under deep conviction that I simply had not been doing as I should I vowed to myself to daily do my hair in something other than a "scrunchy" and to take much better care of my appearance. I want people to look at me and see someone who appears to be well taken care of.... after all I am well taken care of by my Savior and I really really want that to show to others.

So anyway, just that whole 'I have got to take better care of me' plan gave me at least half a dozen more projects to put on the list of things that overwhelm me but I really believe that it's worth it. Just the way my Hunk O Honey's eyes shined at me the evening I had my hair done and wore a nice outfit and just enough make up to look not totally wrung out and at the end of my rope is worth it. I tore through my dresser this morning throwing out clothes that I "rat" around the house in and as I was doing that it occurred to me that I used to dress better to go to work in a dairy barn! How awful is that??!!! Next on the list is the closet. Fred and I are both on a mission to improve the way we take care of ourselves and praying that it will help us to take better care of all of the other things and people we love too.

Anyway, that's enough rambling from me for today. I have chicken and stock cooking for chicken and dumplings tonight and laundry going and a pile of ironing to do as tall as I am. Y'all have a wonderful day!

And she went and did it anyway!

I told that girl that she was NOT allowed to have any more birthdays. I told her that she was to forever remain 14 years old, period and that was that. I told her that there was just NO WAY that I could possibly endure watching both of my baby girls turn into women no matter what she said.(nevermind the fact that the other baby girl is turning 25 next month and a momma herself) I told her all of those things and then some.... but she went and did it anyway.

Just a few days ago my precious, sweet, adorable, lovable, beautiful, wonderful, but not quite perfect Fred let January 16 turn on the calendar and let herself turn 15 whole years old! Mercy me, I just don't know how I'll survive. I thought I was being rather generous in allowing her to celebrate the yearly anniversary of her 14th birthday and all week long we planned for her anniversary cake and anniversary dinner. I even wrote on the top of her cake "Happy 1st Anniversary of your 14th Birthday Fred" (which is a lot of writing on top of a cake by the way).

So much for being in denial! It's heartbreaking now to see other mommys make that awful wish that their child/children would hurry up and get potty trained or learn to read on their own or grow past this phase of that phase of growing. Truthfully, it's over so fast you don't really remember getting started in raising those kids when their grown. I'm just thankful that my kids have grown into people that I like and can be proud of..... not perfect but wonderful anyway.

So anyway, happy (late) BIRTHDAY Fred. Every year you grow more beautiful and me and your Daddy couldn't love you more if we tried.